Babies need YOU, messy hair, sweatpants, coffee. Red Bull and all. They need YOU.
Dear Mama,
First of all, congratulations on your sweet little one. Being a mom is going to push you to find strength you didn’t know you had and experience love that you didn’t know was possible.
Motherhood is one of the most precious gifts but that doesn’t mean it comes without craziness. In fact, it comes with quite a bit of it and it will take a little time to get used to. Regardless of whatever chaos it brings, it really is going to be ok. In fact, it will be more than okay. Your baby will change your life for the better, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.
Every mom experiences all kinds of conflicting emotions day in and day out, especially with the hormones added on top of things. You may cry about forgetting to ask for light ice in your Starbucks drink and then laugh about it a few minutes later. Your baby will push your patience to the limits.
You may feel a little conflicted and a little crazy for a time. No, you’re not broken. There is nothing wrong with you. Every mom feels this way. Motherhood is filled with moments where you wish you could have your freedom back, yet you could never imagine a life without your kids in it. It’s confusing but okay. You will slowly begin to sort through the emotion and make sense of it all. It’s ok if its confusing and its ok if it takes you some time to figure it out. There’s no rush. Just soak it all in.
Never forget that you were hand picked to be the mom of your baby and they need YOU, not some idealistic influencer mom who appears to have all her crap together. They need YOU, messy hair, sweatpants, coffee. Red Bull and all. They need YOU.
You are a mom because you have something special to offer. Trust your mom intuition and don’t read too many parenting books.
There will be moments each day that you simply want some time to yourself. But the moment you lay your little one down to sleep, you will miss them. You will find yourself frustrated when you have to leave your friends without kids to party while you leave to get your kid to bed. However, you will also feel the most overwhelming desire to give up anything for them as they sleep soundly in the car on the way home.
Take in every second of every great moment and find humor in the crazy moments.
Don’t feel pressured to have people over if you aren’t ready for it or you simply don’t want people over. Don’t feel pressured to let others hold your baby when you want to be cuddling with them. Don’t be afraid to put them down for a nap even if others want to be holding your baby. Do what’s best for your baby unashamedly. If people get mad, just blame me
Your body will change. Give yourself time. Take the time to sit back and show your body some gratitude. It built a person and then pushed it out, it deserves some love and a little break. It is absolutely amazing what the female body is capable of. Take some time to acknowledge all that your body has been through and allow it time to rest.
Babies just don’t change your body; they change EVERYTHING about your world. Life with a baby is absolutely beautiful but it is definitely different. Allow yourself to find balance in the cooking, cleaning, social outing etc. it’s going to take some time to figure out. It’s not the end of the world if you order dinner a few nights or leave the dishes in the sink to get a few extra cuddles with your baby or a nap for you. Get that Door Dash or Uber Eats girlfriend. Have patience with yourself and don’t expect a pristine home or beach body right away. Give yourself time and it will all come together.
Make time for you. Even if its 10 or 15 minutes, do something for yourself each day. You cannot take care of your baby if you don’t take care of yourself. You may have to get up 10 minutes earlier, but having a little time to yourself will give you far more mental and emotional capacity to tackle the day.
Find balance and be intentional about you. Don’t underestimate the power of a little movement! Walks with stroller is a great way to get some movement in with a little one and support your mental, emotional, and physical strength all at once. You are important too and taking care of yourself is not selfish. It is so insanely important.
You got this and you are not alone. Stay calm in the chaos, find the humor in the crazy, and be where your feet are in the sweet moment
-Linda, mother of 2